CHRISTMAS!! - yes it deserves capitals!

One of the greatest things about being a mum comes to light during this time of the year. I love Christmas and having a child makes Christmas that little bit better. The look on my daughters face when I turn the tree lights on in the evening is priceless. She may be too young to understand the meaning of Christmas. She may even be too young to understand the exciting thing about a present isn't the wrapping paper, but it is all just so amazing. Today was the first day she attempted to open the presents when my back was turned. They have been sat under the tree for a while, I was very organised this year, but today she went for them. I must admit i giggled a fair bit, it was like she knew she was being naughty. She would look around to see who was watching and then tear it a little. It took me a while to recover all the scattered tags but i didn't mind. The excitement in the last few days before the BIG day is immense. I have never looked at my advent calendar with such anticipation. 

Our tree!

I must mention Olivia didn't take to the tree right away. She was actually quite scared of it at first. 

Anyway, I am far to excited to keep typing but I thought i would wish anyone reading a:

VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS

&

A FABULOUS NEW YEAR!

If you have children cherish it!

Dustbin Baby.

Maybe it was the lead up to The Gatwick Baby: Abandoned at... Maybe it's just a coincidence, but today a baby was found. The BBC news website is showing a story of a newborn baby who was found dumped in a bin liner! i feel sick! I understand people go through different things and things happen but no matter what the circumstances, to leave your baby, dead or alive in a bin liner take some sort of person!! As i read on i held Olivia tighter, my stomach turning as i imagined a tiny baby screaming, dying slowly and painfully as its mother walked away. Maybe thats not how it happened, but in my head this is how it is. The Gatwick Baby is on at the moment and the figures are astounding, At least 4 babies in 2010 were abandoned with no trace of parents ever being found! Even worse, only ONE of those babies survived! I feel sick and really hope SOMEONE can explain to me any reason in this!!!! I cannot sympathise....i would like to be more understanding, but as a mother i will never understand dumping your child.

Blinking life away.

I sat on my bed bouncing Olivia to sleep, she is still waking through the night. At 5 months we've been pretty unlucky with her sleep patterns but i guess it will get better some time soon. I sat there thinking, she is 5 months old; 5 months! she is almost half a year and i honestly don't understand where it has all gone? i look back at pictures of her as a newborn and then i realise how much she has changed. As a child you wish your life away. It is always about reaching that next milestone, i don't remember when it changed. I try to think back to the first time i wished life would slow down and i can't. I cant remember when i started wanting things to just stop for a while. I know i will try and tell Olivia to not wish to be older and to enjoy life slowly. I know, like i told my mum she will tell me to stop being silly and to let her buy make up and date boys. I wonder at what age she will realise just how quickly 'time flys'. I used to think it was a silly expression. Now i know it's life.

Olivia a few weeks old:

Olivia 5 months old:

Love you sweetie.....x

Advert.

Our advert has aired. It is being shown on BBC1, BBC2 and BBC3. I must say it is very surreal to see my little family on tv throughout the day. Public response has been great, though a few people have referred to Olivia as the 'hitler baby'. Their reason for this horrendous label is her hair...anyone who has ever been in a studio will be well aware that the lights are hot....this meant the her hair stuck to her head giving her hitlers hair cut. Nevermind. We love it and it will be a wonderful keepsake for her when she is older!
This is the photo Rankin took of our family:

We love it. Again it is a fantastic keepsake for our wall.

Thank you Rankin!

RANKIN

WOW! for a moment i need to take a breath....Rankin, one of the worlds top photographers is shooting me and my family next week! I am absolutely gobsmacked that we have been chosen, especially as the casting went so badly! we have done a show for Cherry Healey and this is the promo for the collection of programmes to be aired over april....i cant give too much away about the shoot but keep an eye on my blog and i'll keep it updated!

Filming.

Today BBC3 are coming to our house to shoot a promo. We filmed a programme to be aired in april and now were doing the advert. I am excited, although now I am fully aware that my life is going to be on display for all to see. hmmm. I cant talk about the programme I don't think so will keep you posted. Fingers crossed todays filming goes well!

It Begins.

The day you become a mother everything changes. You spend your life thinking primarily of yourself, never again. You don't know when it will happen, only that labour is imminent and you can never really prepare yourself.
I was very scared during my pregnancy that I would feel claustrophobic once my daughter was born, it so happens that it is the exact opposite. If she is away from me I get separation anxiety. Funny how life throughs you in to weird yet wonderful feelings.
Despite spending 20 years mainly thinking about myself I now struggle to do just that. Even when I 'try' and have some 'me' time, I can't. No matter how hard I try to concentrate on 'me' it is impossible. I am not resentful of this, I have never really been a selfish/self-involved person, however I do know that it is important to take care of yourself once in a while. Whether that is going for a manicure or having a nice long bath it should be done once in a while...but cough cough, a manicure! Who has time for a manicure whilst trying to juggle a baby?? If any of you know how this is done please let me know...

Task for today: Try to have some me time.